OK, one more. Eeks..
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I Predict A Diet
The problem with these little beauties is that if there are a lot of them in the office, then I snack all day, miss a proper lunch and feel nauseous by mid-afternoon. Nutritionally balanced diet? No.
An 8,000 calorie day? Yes.
Eeks! The KKK took my waistline away
..Kalorific Krispy Kreme, that is..
Friday, February 08, 2008
Reasons To Be Cheerful, Parts 23
My three loyal readers, fearing for my wellbeing, are no doubt seeking court orders to have me temporarily sectioned. They may feel alarm at my mental state (persecution complexes abound) and fear that I will, รก la Lindsay, Britney and Amy, self-combust. Such is the gloomy tone of recent posts.
Worry not. This humble Web2.0 outpost is not some cry for help, but a diary of sorts and outlet to vent. To be honest, I just like the discipline of writing.. I know it's boring, but I operate here within cast-iron editorial rules which limit the scope for comment and observation. Musing on wife, work or the weather, for example, are strictly forbidden. But incessant grumbling about everything is, I admit, D---U---L---L.
So, today, Matthew, I shall be cheery.
It's Friday. It's sunny and quite warm. I took the bus today and really, really enjoyed it. Yes, really. Life is good, and for the next 24 hours at least, I have my health. Oops sorry -- that was sarcastic, snide and unnecessary.
So here's a random list of things which I must not take for granted and remember to give thanks for..
• This forthcoming day of rude health
• American Democrats for making international news interesting and diverting the world's attention from the fact that John McCain will be the most powerful man on the planet this time next year ;-)
• The imminent return of Messrs. Terry, Lampard, Drogba, Essien, Mikel, Kalou and erm, Shevchenko ..Eeks, that's a whole team of internationals. How are we still in winning form fielding the Chelsea Ladies Under 16s? ;-)))
• The early arrival of Spring. Daffodils, crocuses, bunny wabbits and lamb chops..
• Free London newspapers -- Metro, London Lite, The Londonpaper, City AM. All utter bilge, but gratis
• Grand Designs. We love Kevin and even considered building our own home last night ..for 1 minute, 22 seconds before thinking better of it
• In Vino, Veritas. Banal, but we liiiike
• Impatience. It's an oft overlooked virtue
• Dad's Army and Father Ted. Chuckle brothers
• Bendy buses. I've made my peace with the 73
• Greenhouse gases. Mild winters and soggy summers. I'm going bio-fuel
• Felt tipped pens. Smells like victory
• Fuzzy felt. Thowback
• Velvet collars
• Lemonade and ice cream -- in the same glass
• Job. I still have one while my (soon-to-be-ex-)colleagues don't/won't. In-line with inflation pay review and a flat bonus. Grr. But then I DO have a job. Rats, just mentioned one of the sanctioned Ws. "You're fired!" Ed.
• Food beinning with T -- tagine, tortellini, tomato, toast
• iPod on shuffle. Who's next..?
• The facility to dream
• Aspiration
• Humility
• Oh, and P, Ems, family and friends, of course..
• The possibility of being healthy right through the weekend
Totally random, but forever..
Carefree
Worry not. This humble Web2.0 outpost is not some cry for help, but a diary of sorts and outlet to vent. To be honest, I just like the discipline of writing.. I know it's boring, but I operate here within cast-iron editorial rules which limit the scope for comment and observation. Musing on wife, work or the weather, for example, are strictly forbidden. But incessant grumbling about everything is, I admit, D---U---L---L. So, today, Matthew, I shall be cheery.
It's Friday. It's sunny and quite warm. I took the bus today and really, really enjoyed it. Yes, really. Life is good, and for the next 24 hours at least, I have my health. Oops sorry -- that was sarcastic, snide and unnecessary.
So here's a random list of things which I must not take for granted and remember to give thanks for..
• This forthcoming day of rude health
• American Democrats for making international news interesting and diverting the world's attention from the fact that John McCain will be the most powerful man on the planet this time next year ;-)
• The imminent return of Messrs. Terry, Lampard, Drogba, Essien, Mikel, Kalou and erm, Shevchenko ..Eeks, that's a whole team of internationals. How are we still in winning form fielding the Chelsea Ladies Under 16s? ;-)))
• The early arrival of Spring. Daffodils, crocuses, bunny wabbits and lamb chops..
• Free London newspapers -- Metro, London Lite, The Londonpaper, City AM. All utter bilge, but gratis
• Grand Designs. We love Kevin and even considered building our own home last night ..for 1 minute, 22 seconds before thinking better of it
• In Vino, Veritas. Banal, but we liiiike
• Impatience. It's an oft overlooked virtue
• Dad's Army and Father Ted. Chuckle brothers
• Bendy buses. I've made my peace with the 73
• Greenhouse gases. Mild winters and soggy summers. I'm going bio-fuel
• Felt tipped pens. Smells like victory
• Fuzzy felt. Thowback
• Velvet collars
• Lemonade and ice cream -- in the same glass
• Job. I still have one while my (soon-to-be-ex-)colleagues don't/won't. In-line with inflation pay review and a flat bonus. Grr. But then I DO have a job. Rats, just mentioned one of the sanctioned Ws. "You're fired!" Ed.
• Food beinning with T -- tagine, tortellini, tomato, toast
• iPod on shuffle. Who's next..?
• The facility to dream
• Aspiration
• Humility
• Oh, and P, Ems, family and friends, of course..
• The possibility of being healthy right through the weekend
Totally random, but forever..
Carefree
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Complete Control, 1984
..Or I'm A Libertarian, Get Me Out Of Here!
The dumb dumb local council apparatchiks of our stinking corner of London have become all-powerful and omnipresent. I guess at heart, all politicians and their lackeys have -- to a greater or lesser extent -- God complexes. It's a heady power trip, baby.
But this unbearable.
Hackney (sodding) Council has now officially assumed Complete Control over every aspect of my life.
I'm woken each morning by its clumsy street cleaners, who while noisy, fail to actually remove any litter.
My street and all those around it are constantly filthy because recycling and refuse collection isn't properly coordinated. Pick-up on our road is Thursday, immediately south and to the right, on Mondays, opposite us on Wednesdays and to the North, on Fridays. Ipso facto, the whole neighbourhood is in a perpetual state of accumulative rubbish. Indeed, many of the flat dwellers simply don't have room for all the recycling paraphernalia, so their stuff constantly lives on the pavement. And what of my neighbour's penchant for discarding TVs, computers, fridges, furniture, carpet and the like by just leaving it on the street..?
I'm penalised twice in the same week for parking my car outside my own home due to arbitrary parking suspensions, even when there is no evidence of planned or in-progress works -- or even a public notice to inform me of said suspension. And the ticketing is completely sneaky and cynical as it's done at 11pm at night when 1) everyone's in bed and 2) no work will be done anyway and therefore no obstruction.
I cannot properly walk the dog (or myself), even though there are numerous parks and green spaces, because everything's locked-up from 4pm to 9am. I know, I know -- it's for my own safety but then I do have a hefty MagLite (for the express purposes of illuminating the gloom, of course). But great working hours guys. Haringey's parks are open all year 'round -- well, Finsbury Park is -- why not ours?
We cannot extend our house as the council's spineless conservation geeks want to maintain the uniquely urban beauty of our streetscape -- comprised as it is of 1970s utilitarian social housing (directly opposite, a young offender's halfway house which for most, represents only a brief period of liberty between stretches in Pentonville and Brixton); long-closed burned-out shop fronts of graffitied corrugated iron facades; and a three-year-old hole in the ground (previously a dodgy pub of murder and then arson) slowly emerging as a six-storey modern cast iron development. We cannot build a mansard as our three lone Victorians are considered a full and 'unblemished' terrace and the council is -- without public notice -- re-drawing its previously published policy. Unblemished! It's the most godawful bollox of a streetscape. Cold War-era cities of the (nee)Eastern Block have more integrity and appeal.
I try to be a good boy (really I do) and I pay handsomely each month for this shite.
Resistance is futile.
I O-B-E-Y
The dumb dumb local council apparatchiks of our stinking corner of London have become all-powerful and omnipresent. I guess at heart, all politicians and their lackeys have -- to a greater or lesser extent -- God complexes. It's a heady power trip, baby.
But this unbearable.
Hackney (sodding) Council has now officially assumed Complete Control over every aspect of my life.
I'm woken each morning by its clumsy street cleaners, who while noisy, fail to actually remove any litter.
My street and all those around it are constantly filthy because recycling and refuse collection isn't properly coordinated. Pick-up on our road is Thursday, immediately south and to the right, on Mondays, opposite us on Wednesdays and to the North, on Fridays. Ipso facto, the whole neighbourhood is in a perpetual state of accumulative rubbish. Indeed, many of the flat dwellers simply don't have room for all the recycling paraphernalia, so their stuff constantly lives on the pavement. And what of my neighbour's penchant for discarding TVs, computers, fridges, furniture, carpet and the like by just leaving it on the street..?
I'm penalised twice in the same week for parking my car outside my own home due to arbitrary parking suspensions, even when there is no evidence of planned or in-progress works -- or even a public notice to inform me of said suspension. And the ticketing is completely sneaky and cynical as it's done at 11pm at night when 1) everyone's in bed and 2) no work will be done anyway and therefore no obstruction.
I cannot properly walk the dog (or myself), even though there are numerous parks and green spaces, because everything's locked-up from 4pm to 9am. I know, I know -- it's for my own safety but then I do have a hefty MagLite (for the express purposes of illuminating the gloom, of course). But great working hours guys. Haringey's parks are open all year 'round -- well, Finsbury Park is -- why not ours?
We cannot extend our house as the council's spineless conservation geeks want to maintain the uniquely urban beauty of our streetscape -- comprised as it is of 1970s utilitarian social housing (directly opposite, a young offender's halfway house which for most, represents only a brief period of liberty between stretches in Pentonville and Brixton); long-closed burned-out shop fronts of graffitied corrugated iron facades; and a three-year-old hole in the ground (previously a dodgy pub of murder and then arson) slowly emerging as a six-storey modern cast iron development. We cannot build a mansard as our three lone Victorians are considered a full and 'unblemished' terrace and the council is -- without public notice -- re-drawing its previously published policy. Unblemished! It's the most godawful bollox of a streetscape. Cold War-era cities of the (nee)Eastern Block have more integrity and appeal.
I try to be a good boy (really I do) and I pay handsomely each month for this shite.
Resistance is futile.
I O-B-E-Y
"This is Joe Public speaking.
I'm controlled in the body, controlled in the mind.
Total c-o-n control -- that means you!"
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
London's Brilliant Parade
As my three loyal readers will know, old Gotham really does wind me up. It's criminally expensive. It's criminally dangerous (another fatally stabbed teenager a quarter of a mile from home over the weekend, with tally of dead hoodies in N16 at three in as many months). It's criminally congested, overpopulated, dirty, unfriendly, decrepit and dangerous.
By contrast, I know the grass, while in abundant evidence, won't be figuratively greener out in the Shires. I know the country won't be perfect, with a choice of only one village pub and no Thai, Turkish, Indian, Bangladeshi, Kurdish, Vietnamese, Kosher, Carribean, Cantonese, French, Italian, Tapas... deliveries within a 100 miles -- but it will be quieter, cleaner, cheaper and generally more amenable than Londinium.
However, every now and then wonderful things do happen in the stinking metropolis.
Just this morning, quite unannounced, a ceremonial troop of The Queen's Royal Hussars clopped down Lisson Grove from their Regent's Park barracks en route to some kind of offical engagement. In many ways, quite a bizarre thing -- 40 horseback soliders in ceremonial dress with swords and cannon parading through city traffic. But then again, in the nation's capital, it's almost as commonal-garden as a tube strike or mugging.
Odd..
By contrast, I know the grass, while in abundant evidence, won't be figuratively greener out in the Shires. I know the country won't be perfect, with a choice of only one village pub and no Thai, Turkish, Indian, Bangladeshi, Kurdish, Vietnamese, Kosher, Carribean, Cantonese, French, Italian, Tapas... deliveries within a 100 miles -- but it will be quieter, cleaner, cheaper and generally more amenable than Londinium.
However, every now and then wonderful things do happen in the stinking metropolis.
Just this morning, quite unannounced, a ceremonial troop of The Queen's Royal Hussars clopped down Lisson Grove from their Regent's Park barracks en route to some kind of offical engagement. In many ways, quite a bizarre thing -- 40 horseback soliders in ceremonial dress with swords and cannon parading through city traffic. But then again, in the nation's capital, it's almost as commonal-garden as a tube strike or mugging.
Odd..
NB: The title of this post, like many of mine, is the title of a song -- this, from Elvis Costello's 1993 album Brutal Youth. And Elvis, like us shortly, followed Roddy Frame's advice on his 1990's Stray album to "Get Out of London"..
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
SCP v2.3
Another in my random series of Stupid Corporate Branding (SCB).
Today, spied on a Barts ambulance in Islington..
"Bringing Excellence To Life"
Kak
Today, spied on a Barts ambulance in Islington..
"Bringing Excellence To Life"
Kak
Heaven Knows I'm (Really) Miserable Now
Just had confirmation that Morrissey will NOT reschedule the three cancelled-due-to-illness dates at The Roundhouse.
"The artiste and promoters tried strenuously to reschedule the three shows but it proved impossible. We would like to extend our apologies to all of Morrissey’s loyal fans over this unavoidable situation."
Artiste..?
Kak cubed
"The artiste and promoters tried strenuously to reschedule the three shows but it proved impossible. We would like to extend our apologies to all of Morrissey’s loyal fans over this unavoidable situation."
Artiste..?
Kak cubed