Holiday

No nonsense from me, my dear three readers, for the next two weeks.

Pigs In Zen

Isn't this little piglet adorable?

Six-week-old Cinders suffers from mysophobia, a fear of dirt -- an unusual condition for a pig. But her owners found these booties fitted perfectly and now Cinders is as happy as a pig in ...

On An Island

I know the weather is glorious across old Blighty at the mo', but it is wont to change -- quickly and dramatically at that..

This below is the forecast for Kastellorizo, the idyllic little Greek island we're of to for a fortnight from Saturday.

Isn't it boring in its consistency?

And the ultimate horror -- I might just cheer-up for a week or two..

Tell It Like It Is

Today, P sent me a CV and cover letter application to her firm from a post-graduate student. She sent it [saw this and though of you] because the grad used that most horrid of platitudes -- innovative solutions -- in the letter.

And beyond the use of this pointless phrase, the rest of the letter was rendered near-illegible by its dense use of other such double-talk. How not to get a job -- offer your blessed innovative solutions and creative ideas and transpose your committment and ability at the union bar to the internship. (I'm being mean, I know..)

Anyway, I'm not immune to receipt of illiterate bollox in my own line of work and have just received this balderdash from an IT supplier's PR agency as a draft quote attibuted to one of my execs.

"Our customers rely on us to be ahead of the game so that they too stay one step ahead of the competition and can grab the bull by its horns."

Fair play. At the end of the day and when all's said and done, we are afterall, dedicated to enhancing the perfomance of.. ehem, matadors..

;-)

Sweet Thing

The dastardly concession-istas at Marylebone Station have installed a very, very large Haribo pick'n'mix stall. My staple diet is now Happy Cola chews.

I'm in gummy heaven, but feel nauseous, racked with self-loathing and fear for my few remaining teeth.

Thick As A Brick

More, ehem, wonder from those wonderful WAGs..
[Click on image for bigger view]

Speak To Me

I will SELF-HARM if I hear anyone gobbing on about Innovative Solutions ever, ever, ever again!

Catalyst: A radio interview this morning with a Hammersmith councillor discussing his borough's spiffing wheeze to open post offices in churches and libraries as counter to Royal Mail branch closures. These aren't his words per se, but you get the 'MBA-babble' point..

"This proposal is an innovative solution to a complex and challenging paradigm shift in our societal organisational structure. We've assembled a core team of key members to brainstorm strategies, scenario-plan, think outside the box and examine what will stick. Clearly there are synergies here that are win-win going forward and optimally leverage community assets while achieving significant economies of scale." Blah, blah, blah..

It's time we removed idiotic mid-Atlantic corporate double-talk from everyday life. It's bad enough having to live with the meaningless twaddle at work five days a week..

Plain English everyone, please.

I only want bandwidth from my broadband provider.