Gang Of Four

P had her first trimester scan yesterday and this is junior S at week 14. ..Humm, it's not exactly flattering is it?

And while mum and (evolving) 'grub' are doing nicely thanks, we're hopeful that the angular, squared features are on account of the poor scan quality, not some unknown and distant hereditary disfigurement. But, hey, this image does bear an uncanny resemblance to an Easter Island statue.

And as for dad? On the strength of this evidence, I now must fulfil my promise and quit smoking. And it's so easy to say with grand pronoucements weeks in advance, but damn it's hard in practice. Am weaning with very infrequent puffs on mega, mega lights.

Sweet And Dandy

A colleague returning from vacances delivered a large packet of the Gallic delight, Carambars, to a desk very near me. Yum.

Entente cordiale is alive and well in NW1.

SCB v2.4

Yet another in my very randomly observed series of Stupid Corporate Branding (SCB).

Spied in Bloomsbury this morning, an eCourier delivery van with the legendary tag..

"Happieness Delivered"

What cock.

Chelsea Dagger

Magnificent. Absolutely magnificent. Chelsea 4, Portsmouth 0.

What a way to open the season.

That's Pompey thoroughly humbled. And they're a decent side too.

Scolari really has made his mark and boring, boring Chelsea looked like a Brazil squad on top form (hyperbole dictates that I compare them to the 1970 World Cup winners) -- quick, open, forward, energetic, tight, inventive, entertaining..

And unless ManUre get one more against the Magpies, then we start top of the table -- where we'll stay until Sunday, 24 May 2009.

Oh. They didn't (ha) and I'm liking this a lot..

Carefree.

Isolation

Home alone ..and for the whole weekend. Yay.

I should be enjoying things at my own pace -- and I am, I guess -- but damn, I'm bored.

I'm not completely alone. There's still the dog who's minxing it up as, ehem, top dog and demanding a LOT of attention. But pooch doesn't exactly qualify as stimulating adult company. She's a dog, can't talk and is happier licking her arse and rolling in poo than discussing the pressing issues of the day -- like the sublime brilliance of The Last Shadow Puppets (beyond debate and just statement of fact); whether Gabby Yorath is hotter than Kirsty Gallacher (did I say that out loud?), or is Natty really that good or is it just very good PR (mmmmm)? And of course, the MASSIVELY CRITICAL start of the footie season.

Actually, thinking about it, I don't think P would be terribly interested in any of these topics of conversation -- they're really only my own personal pressing issues ..but you get my drift and I am home alone..

Home alone. Yay.

I can stay up late. I can lie-in late. I can listen to loud music. I can eat junk. I can grow a (wispy) beard. I can go days without washing. I can watch all of the Godfather films (well, the first two anyway) and I can generally behave badly (heck. I'm not a father yet). In short, I can go completely feral.

..But then that's the order for every weekend. P isn't exactly a meanie authoritarian and kinda lets me be ..me. Sweet thing that she is.

So enough, what have I achieved to date all on my lonesome since P departed at 08:00 yesterday? quite a lot.

I've:

- Eaten two pizzas (large)
- Drunk three pints of larger (strong)
- Drunk two and a half bottles of average Australian Chardonnay (circa £6.00)
- Smoked two and a half packs of Marlboro lights (see below -- caning it)
- Had one packet of crisps (Walker's cheese & onion)
- Ate one chip butty (with curry sauce)
- Ate English breakfast amid foul Gooners (and wished them all food poisoning as well as a drubbing by West Brom)
- Ate one ham and cheese sandwich from the local Ukranian cafe
- Watched three crappy horror DVDs. The Hills Have Eyes (remake but good), The Wicker Man (the original and totally excellent) and To The Devil A Daughter (very poor apart from the nubile Nastassia Kinski dressed as a nun -- which is disturbing, but I'm working on it with my therapist..)
- Listened to bad-to-the-bone rock music (Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Nirvana, Oasis, Lynyrd Skynyrd, (eeks) Meatloaf and ..I admit it, MIKA)
- Cleaned, weeded and watered the garden
- Had four very long walks (avec la Moo)
- Did quite a lot of work and had two conference calls (yesterday -- I work from home on Fridays. Yes, I do work..)
- Done four loads of washing
- Done a bit of clearing in the VERY scary second bedroom -- the boudoir (a mad person lives in there..)
- Washed the car (well, paid a gang of Russians to do it)
- Laundered my shirts (well, took them to the Turkish laundry)
- Googled a bit to resolve the Gabby / Kirtsy question (still unresolved, and it's subjective and sexist -- blonde or brunette. Don't start me on Davina..)
- Watched the Olympics a bit
- Read The New Yorker (liked it too)
- Tried reading Harvard Business Review (got bored)
- Read The Guardian (all of it apart from the pointless Family, Your Money and Travel sections)
- Dowloaded apps for the iPhone (lovin' the London tube map with service alerts and PacMan)
- Tried and failed to get some sense from local estate agents re potential sale of the house (it'll happen one day ..really!)
- Pondered the ineptitude of local estate agents (with the credit crunch, have they all gone off to be tour guides in Georgia or running bars in Malia?)
- Bought The Mighty Lemon Drops back catalogue from iTunes (why..?)
- Bought a new pair of Golas (check em -- gorgeous)
- Oh, and missed P (quite a lot)

Busy boy. Well done. But still bored.

So what's on for tonight? More DVDs (Dog Soldiers, yay!) and a curry I think..

Disappointed in the content? Look at the masthead, dumb dumb. It clearly states pointless musings on minutiae. Deal with it or click onto something else.

Home alone. P comes home tomorrow. Yay!

Oh, and as noted, the season started today..

How many trophies? It can't be any worse than close second in everything last year ;-)

CAREFREE

The Final Countdown

Eleven days to go and counting...

I've set Tuesday, 26 August 2008 as the day that I give up smoking once and for all.

This is not a wholly arbitrary date. It's the day that P has her first trimester scan to check-up on the progress of little S. And at week 14, we're as confident as we can be that all is going well in wombland.

P has already paid a visit to a midwife and has been subject to much medical prodding and poking and all is at it should be.

So why set a date? Why not just quit now?

Well a pedantic creature of habit where all things are ideally diarized long in advance, it seems the best way for me to prepare for the loss of an old, if dangerous, odious and undesirable 'friend'.

Not just that, but for the last two months, P -- avec Roo -- has been a paragon of virtue.

No smoking, no drinking, no fun.

Heck, if she can just go 'cold turkey' at the flick of a switch, or rather a pee on a chemical stick, then so can I.

Alex A too has kicked the fags into touch and replaced his addiction to the weed with an obsessive half marathon habit.

..And of course, it's illegal to smoke anywhere nowadays, so why would you?

So here I am a dinosaur. A throwback. A social outcast. Last man, ehem, smoking, if you like.

But my motives are far more fundamentally founded. It's a very very unhealthy thing to do. And becoming a Pa in my (very ;-) early forties, I'm already going to be nearing retirement when junior departs for university or popstardom, or whatever.. So the very least I can / should do, is make every effort to stay alive for as long as possible.

So while I can, I'm caning it for the next week and a half. I'll either keel over with nicotine poisoning (defeating the point of it all), or even better, become thoroughly sick of the evil things. Either way, Tuesday, 26th is D-Day.

While I'm looking forward to a life sans wheezing and with a renewed ability to smell and taste, for now at least, you'll find me behind the proverbial bike shed ..for a few more days yet.

Shiny, Shiny

Last week I bit the bullet and have completed the triumvirate of shiny Apple gear. The iPhone really is a marvel and it's sooo cute.

I could and maybe should say more, but my pretty new precious demands attention..