Rock and Roll Building Materials

With the builders in, one must try to maintain a sense of humour. So I've been having a bit of inventive fun with silly word association. A Letterman kinda thing..

"Emulsion" Early Van Halen album

"Polyfiller" Backing singer for X-Ray Spex

"Bonding Compound" Exclusive VIP backstage area populated by exceptionally attractive groupies

"Door Frame" Difficult dance move from 'rare groove' Northern Soul '80s revival

"Topps Tiles" chirpy Cockney bandleader from the '60s

"Hack Saw" Throat complaint from trying too hard to hit notes beyond limited range

"Putty" Hashish

"Step Ladder" That 'difficult' third album

"Skirting Board" Studio equipment, state-of-the-art in the '70s

"Joist" 'Putty', lit and sprinkled over cigarette tobacco in Rizla

"Faucet" Beer keg specifically, but increasingly used to denote any supply of booze

"Spirit Level" Point of crowd frenzy at the opening bars of third encore

"Rawl Plug" Country legend

"Veneer" Derivative Dutch rockers of any decade

"Set Square" Didn't make the guest list

"G-Clamp" Ex- gang-banging LA rapper

"Dust sheet" Like a rap sheet, but an on-tour tally of drug-related arrests

"Stanley Knife" Genial head roadie

"Plywood" Danish festival, now in its second decade

"Nail Gun" All female Minneapolis post-punk quartet comprised of members aged 12 - 15 years

"Drywall" South London gay club, popular hang-out of diminutive Aussie divas

"U-Bend" Jamaican ragga star

"Plaster" Norweigian death metallers and Eurovision runners-up

"Skip" First name of over-weight, acneyed 16-year-old stakler fan of Nail Gun's bassist, Linda

"Application Nozzle" Rolled-up £20 note - or similar of any currency

"Render" Female groupie who swings any way you want

...and my personal favourite

"Matt Vinal" Lead singer of late '70s new wave combo Fizzy-Popitty that later morphed into early '80s new romantic 'almost-rans'. Now retails neo-punk tat to Japanese tourists in Camden

Ooh, That Oh So Fresh Feeling

Due to the builders doing their thing at home and that we're still sans bathroom, I'm using the shower facilities at the office gym this week.

While there is the ever present issue of veruka collection and the general foustiness one associates with a dingy basement gym, the choice of tea tree shower gel is maybe even more hazardous -- particularly when washing, ehem, ones middle bits. It's invigoratingly stingy, but strangely pleasing..

However, tea tree or more accurately, Melaleuca Oil (Melaleuca Alternifolia), is good for the following, which should set me up nicely:
- Acne
- Athlete's foot
- Dandruff
- Vaginitis
- Thrush
- Periodontal disease
- As an antiseptic
- Boils
- Lice
- Eczema
- Psoriasis

Humm.

A lovely Summer's Day

This [colour] shot taken at 12:00 noon today -- Friday, 20th July. (Well, it could well have..)

Damnit, this day last week was the 13th.

And it gets worse. The rain's in for months to come. So, St. Swithin's Day a myth..?

I think not. It pissed down on the 15th.

"St Swithin’s Day, if it does rain
Full forty days, it will remain."

The Weather Outside Is Frightful..

..But this is where we're off to for a week in September -- only eight weeks away :-)

The Wrong-(Way-'Round) Pants

I know it's full of PR fluff, but this caught my eye in this morning's Metro.

Workers Suffering 'Huge Sleep Debt'

"Most British workers now suffer from 'weekend jet lag' due to disrupted sleep during a typical British weekend, a study suggested yesterday. ..The lie-ins and late nights of a typical British weekend leave people with a 'sleep debt' equivalent to a flight from New York on the red eye..," according to caring, informative corporation employing 'creative PR-types' in bid to grab column inches.

Maybe that's why my underwear is on the wrong way around today..?

Well, It Worked..

..Charlie's calling for is sister, that is.

Amazingly only one day later than forecast, Madeleine Ann Atkinson gave mum a nudge early Saturday evening and made a speedy debut at 20:29 -- and after only about two hours of labour.


Good time keeping and a minimum of fuss are admirable qualities in any woman.


Welcome little one!

Novel Way To Enduce Childbirth..

..Or funny Charlie #2.

My sister's about to produce her second child anytime now -- this time a girl. While Madeleine Ann, a sensible girl's name has been selected, the 'bump' has, for many months, been nicknamed after a commonal-garden vegetable.



So with the arrival of a long-awaited sister imminent, my nephew Charlie greets the day by shouting ‘Come out Cabbage!’ at his mum’s belly every morning.

Precious.

Blog 2.Bollox

I've been scooting around the wibbly-wobbly instead of working recently (well, it's my bat, ball and game, so poo to you..) and have happened upon rather a lot of earnest outpourings of a Stephen Hawkins nature from many proffesional types.

For instance, go to the Friendly Ghost link on the right and check-out all the links there. (NB: 'Caspar' is an ex-colleague, damn fine writer and adept, if quizzical blogger). What d'ya get? Mucho naval gazing and angst-ridden bogs authored by many, many commies (communications peeps) about the working world they inhabit.

One day I'll learn how to hot-link these things in the text.

Eeks, it's only a job and most of it silly PR at that. To hear them chunter so passionately about drivvel-dressed-as-consequence is really quite amusing. Hey -- It ain't HBR, you know..?

All I ever post about is my rickety little house, cuddly dog, P and beloved Chel-WUss-Ee.

I'm now overcome with smugness in the knowledge that my priorities seem properly placed.

But then only P, Alex and RJB read the thing anyway, so unlikely to cause much offence or grace the pages of PR Wank.

S'ppose everyone has their own motivations to scribble.. Dumpling's, like mine, is a homely-sort of missive of recipies and pussy cats. Goodwin's [sadly locked-down to the NFI] gonzo 'Fear And Loathing In Dubai' provides tales of debauched excess in the desert. (Ha -- Henry Goes To Barca :-)) PJ and Penny are long-resting, and Alex hasn't yet got past homepage design selection. There's even one eejit out there who list songs everyday..

Ho hum. Off to muse in florid tones on the critical strategic importance of scissors and sticky tape in the modern global business environment, or some such. HBR it might be..

Savage Garden

Has it really been over a month since that last post? Heck, time flies and much has happened since then.

Went on holiday and the garden was something akin to an overgrown mud bath (pre-Glastonbury too). Return, and it's fit for Homes and Gardens. ..Well, the 'Gardens' bit anyway.


Hey -- it might be raining ALL THE TIME, but it's good for the new plants ;-)


We'll make it into the 'Homes' part of the mag too in about three/four weeks when the builders are done sacking the place and have completed the rebuilding.

Durr -- It didn't occur to me that we'd be without water/washing facilities for the duration of a bathroom redesign and re-fit. So off to the country a few miles up the Chiltern Line for a week or so to maintain regular bathing routines and avoid having our BO becoming a public health issue for us, friends, colleagues and London's general citizenry.

What else has been going on? Oh yeah, P is in the throes of planning to build/do-up a house on our idyllic Grecian hideaway, Kastellorizo. ..More of that in another post.

Job Done (..Kinda)

League Cup and FA Cup winners 2006/2007. Runners up in the Premiership -- some way off ManUre, but a clear 15 points ahead of Liverpool and Arsenal. And semi-finalists in the Champions League.

Should have kept it tighter over Christmas/January and scored many more goals -- in open play and as penalties -- in April/early May to truly compete..

But all-in-all, not all bad for the 2007/2008 Champions.


Carefree

Blue Is The Colour..

..of the sky.

Yay. The sun returns to this soggy island after a long, long absence.

So, Q: Is the colour above an omen for tomorrow.

Thinking about the final -- I'm convinced we can do it. Just that we need to come out of the traps chomping. (Remember Di Mateo in '97..?).

Of course, I'm expecting some needle from ManUre about Yorkies -- but hey, a man's gotta defend his family and who the hell goes to confiscate a dog at 10:30pm on a Wednesday evening? West London police are clearly all gooners..

Carefree

The Halo Effect

At last, some good news. (Well there's a lot ot be happy about, just that I'm a bit 'Meldrew' today..)

Microsoft announces the launch date for Halo3 -- Wednesday, 26 September. That gives me a good two+ months of gaming ahead of little Roo's arrival late year. :-)

Yes Simon. Now I'll buy an Xbox360.

Oh, and the sun has made an appearance after about three weeks..

It's all too good. Now surely something catastrophic is bound to happen.

Superstition

"Very superstitious, writing's on the wall.."

..Well, we have a Banksy in the Green.

But I wonder (sic)

su·per·sti·tion, noun:- "..belief in the existence or power of the supernatural; irrational fear of the unknown; a religion or practice based on such tendencies; widely held but wrong idea."
- Oxford Dictionary

Not only am I hounded by a sole magpie each morning (sorrow), but now black cats are routinely getting in my way (is this good? I'm confused..)

Jose getting arrested for ownership of a rabid Yorkie and no end in sight to this Biblically dismal weather..

The omens are woeful.

We're doomed.

Act Local

We're getting active; involved; grass roots.

Right on, brother.

Yesterday evening, P attended a Hackney planning open house and was the only non-NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) in attendance. Amid a mass of ill-informed, knee-jerk busy-bodies, she was the only reasonable, sensible, level-headed home-improver there.

The reason: we want to extend, and extend big stylee. Upwards, which means mansard roof extension.

So the scheming, conniving "Gordon Brown will make a great interim Prime Minister ahead of David Milliband" lobbyist that she is, managed to work her slick brand of spin on the council's head planning officer.

..Though we also think he was just pleased to speak to someone not berating him for national government housing policy (something he has no control over), refuse collection (again, beyond his p-l-a-n-n-i-n-g remit), or the lousy weather (God's department, I believe..).

At issue is the fact that the council has held an unoffical moratorium on granting permission for mansard extensions in our neck of the woods for about two years. Only now is outlining a clear policy. This is good for us as we now know what will and will not meet with planning -- an important consideration if you're going to pitch-up a wad of cash for an architect only to go nowhere..

But not to be out-done, I'm getting in on the act too and must cancel my attendance at lunch with friends tomorrow in favour of the totally mega 'Composting In The Park', which, as the Hackney junta put it, promises to be "A great day out in Clissold Park."

Hey, I really, really want to win a wormery.

..Spectrum is Green

Quite A Record

This from the BBC's Web site about tonight's penultimate Premiership game. Impressive statistics however you cut it..

Chelsea clinched their second successive Premiership title with a 3-0 win in this equivalent fixture last season. This time around they must relinquish that crown to their visitors Manchester United, in a dress rehearsal for the FA Cup final. Jose Mourinho will be hoping to retain his undefeated League record at Stamford Bridge. The Blues are unbeaten in 61 home League games - 55 in the tutorage of the current incumbent. Indeed the Portuguese chief has masterminded a combined total of 93 home League matches without defeat - last losing on 23 February 2002 when FC Porto were beaten 2-1 by Beira Mar.

Although they're ending the season second best to (sic) ManUre, Chelsea are on a longer current unbeaten League run than United of 12 matches, they've lost fewer Premiership games (three to United's four) and conceded fewer goals (23 to 26). Victory will close the unassailable gap between them to four points.

Mourinho's only defeat to United was 1-0 in last season's trip to Old Trafford which ended their 40-game unbeaten Premiership sequence. They've since thrashed them in last season's corresponding fixture, and shared two goals in a classic game of two halves at the Theatre of Dreams in November. The Londoners have lost one of the last eight League clashes at the Bridge, winning the last three.

Sir Alex Ferguson's side are chasing a first point and a first goal in four visits to the west Londoners.

Carefree

Hell Hound On My Tail

All those years of watching late night horrors and listening to 'The Devil's music' has caught-up on me.

Regardless of the rain, this morning, Ems and I extended our walk to take-in Abney Park Cemetary -- something we habitually do nowadays (see earlier entry).

Maybe it was the fact that I was soaked and cold, maybe I'm just over sensitive this weekend with bad weather and even worse football.

Whatever. Early-on into the cemetary, I was overtaken by heavy goose-bumps, a strong feeling of static electricity and the sense that there was someone/something at my back. It was most uncomfortable and like a wuss, I high-tailed it outta there.

Pooch, though, didn't seem overly perturbed. But then, they do say that dogs have a keener sense to these things than we. She probably spends all her waking hours 'seeing dead people' and to her, Abney Park is always like some sort of Piccadilly Circus for the departed.

Anyway, next weekend, I'm insisting that P comes along to hold my hand.


...Boo!

Or Maybe Not..

That dream thing might have been about next season, or the one after that.. Who knows? Anyway, ManUre have it and well done to them. A concession. With Drogba, Robben and Cole 'resting', it's on to Wembley (and next season) for us.

Carefree

I Had A Dream Jo(se)

I dreamt numbers. I dreamt football. I had a dream.

And maybe all’s not lost..

The past fortnight has been a horrid, torrid time for CFC of edging nearer and dropping further in the Premiership.

Champion’s League dramas not withstanding, it’s been a rollercoaster domestic season. Indeed, in a way, it’s nice that Europe’s behind us.

[Let’s get one thing straight Jose – if you don’t score goals, you don’t win. Liverpool scored, we didn’t. They deserve to be in Athens. End of. And why wasn’t Drogba – the season’s highest goal-scorer up for a penalty in favour of Robben (no game for seven weeks) or the second-string Geremi? Finally, management requires an equal measure of gravitas and humility to counter confidence and self belief. Outbursts of this week are 'Special Needs' not 'Special One', bud..]

But anyway, last night I dreamt and the portents are good. In my vision ManUre lose to Man City tomorrow and we beat Arsenal on Sunday. Moreover, I had a strong sense that we go on to beat ManUre at the Bridge next week to nudge ahead at the top by a point.

The portent didn’t reveal anything about our respective final games – Everton (us) and West Ham (them). Nor did it give me a glimpse of the Wembley result either. My radar is clearly quite near-term and needs fine-tuning.

Now all I need tonight is a sense of the winner of the 3:15 at Epsom and Saturday’s lottery numbers.

Gang Of Four

Domesticity overtakes us at a lightening pace. Our two-person, one dog collective will be added to by year's end.

The wonderful, talented P is with child and carrying little [TBC] Joe (boy) or Rowan (girl) S. I'm told that there's yet some negotiation on the naming, but I tend get my way in the end.

Mum's doing well and hasn't been subject to too many prenatal nasties. Dad's enjoying peace and quiet while he can -- a relative concept when you live with a springer..

Anyway, there's no smoking or drinking chez nous -- well, both the former and latter for Pippa -- not me ;-).

Mothercare. People Movers. And oceans of vomit to come. Yeah.

Picture: Twee, moi?

Carefree

Beavis

Have you ever put a padded bubble-wrap envelope through a shredder?

It's brilliant!