Gunning For Trouble

After nearly a month of work-type madness, things are more under control and there a wee bit more time. So back to this..

With the wonderful Spring weather and longer evenings -- it's long walkies in Clissold Park for me and my furry friend. And if we stop by The Shakespeare en route home to whet our whistles, hey, we've earned it.

Old Emms is a biddable pooch and very friendly -- especially to picnickers and groups of young women lounging on the grass.

Top tip to young single men -- get yourself a cute dog, or borrow one at least. It really engenders coos of interest from said young women -- which of course, is lost on me as I have the delightful P.

Anyway, back to the park..

More so than ever before, we dog owners are under general scrutiny for how well we manage our beasts. Dog ownership is all about consideration and responsibility.

Aside: with the exception of work suits, every pocket I have is crammed full of poo bags.

But today, some breeds are now seen as urban status symbols -- doggie bling as I put it. This is a problem. Canine bling is exclusively centred on the most unpredictable and dangerous of breeds -- pit bulls, rotweillers, chow chows, American staffs etc., -- dogs bred expressly for hunting and fighting. These aren't pets or companions, they're lethal weapons. Moreover, the folks that own them are invariably unsuited to the task of dog ownership. Think modern-day Bill Sykes and Bullseye (shudder).


The papers are full of horror stories about savaged toddlers, bystanders and other, more malign pets. Ipso facto -- there's an understandable degree of public alarm about these monsters being abroad, and a keen interest in their control. So all over the park are signs reminding folk about responsible animal husbandry and expressing the rule that 'dangerous breeds' must be carefully controlled and on the leash.

We (Ems and I) wholly approve. If these breeds are 'banned' as the BBC keeps saying, then why are there so many of them -- not just in London but across the country? Why are they still bred and why aren't they confiscated and destroyed?

Surely, we should bring back The Dog Licence as a means to control ownership and engender responsibility?

The dog licence was abolished in 1987 after which a series of consultations led to the dog control measures contained in the Environmental Protection Act 1990 and to the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991. In Opposition Labour gave a commitment to introduce a dog registration scheme, a course of action rejected by the former Government.

Mr. Cameron. Here's a nice and easy policy for you. Everyone will support you and heck man, you need one!

Not convinced?

OK. The other evening she and I quietly, happily getting on with our constitutional, causing no harm to anyone. We pass three young-uns in hoodies and caps askew. They have a young pit bull type straining on a heavy chain and as we pass a conversation (of sorts) is exchanged.

Hoodie 1 (addressing 'Killer', 'Tyson', 'IceCube' or whatever the unfortunate hound is named). "Ah, Geez. It's not fair, innit. Vat one's free an you ain't."

Hoodie 2 (regarding Ems asks his crew). "What kinda dog is dat anyway?"

Hoodie 3. "It's a gun dog, innit."

Hoodie 2. "Wicked. I gotta get me one of vose."

Hoodie 1. "But if it's a real gun dog, why don't it look very hard?"

We didn't dawdle long enough to find out what kind of game these likely lads had in mind for retrieval, or indeed, removal..