From: ManUreGit
Sent: 20 September 2007 13:58
To: Viking; Arse (Dubai); CFC (London)
Subject: I'm so happy
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The Premiership has lost a poisonous, graceless little sh!t.
Oh happy day.
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From: Viking
Sent: 20 September 2007 14:23
To: MauReGit
Cc: Arse (Dubai); CFC (London)
Subject: Re: I'm so happy
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Ohh yeah - because Ferguson is such a positive shining light
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From: Arse (Dubai)
Sent: 23 September 2007 20:14
To: MauReGit; Viking; CFC (London)
Subject: Re: I'm so happy
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Lost gooner blather –- something about Fabregas and cheeky smiles ;-)
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From: CFC (London)
Sent: 24 September 2007 09:02
To: Arse (Dubai); Viking; ManUreGit
Subject: RE: I'm so happy
_______________________________
Happy's not the word. Ecstatic more like!
At best, we'll melt into lower-table mediocrity.
But the likely scenario is: RomanAb will sell the club in three week's time after a few more draws and buy Harrods or something equally exotic but more predictable than a bunch of back-stabbing, illiterate prima donnas.
Ken Bates will return triumphantly from dismantling Leeds and install Dennis Wise as player manager. Kerry Dixon will be recalled from deep, deep, deep retirement to lead an under 16s squad of Surrey chavs all elevated to 1st team duties due to the rats-sinking-ship-clamour of departures akin to a Northern Rock run.. Ditto the new-blues -- ehem, fans -- who'll return their favour to ManUre, scarrse gits and Arse.
Mike Dean will have a bizarre gardening accident which amounts to his regained hair growth, but that his spindly arms and legs will miraculously fall off (shame).
CFC will be finish in the toilet behind Derby and Spurs and go down.
I'll be able to get a season ticket and there'll be plenty of room in the shed.
Bring on the Championship.
Still love the chels ;-)
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Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Compare & Contrast
Total Sweetie
Good natured, friendly, affectionate, cute, unstintingly loyal, albeit quite greedy, occasionally noisey and smelly
Complete Shit
Aggressive, vicious, deranged, pointless, ugly, mad, unpredictable, untrainable, unlovable, unspeakable and in-need-of-extinction
See post below
Good natured, friendly, affectionate, cute, unstintingly loyal, albeit quite greedy, occasionally noisey and smelly
Complete Shit
Aggressive, vicious, deranged, pointless, ugly, mad, unpredictable, untrainable, unlovable, unspeakable and in-need-of-extinction
See post below
Ban These Bloody Monsters
..Oh, they are banned. Then enforce the sodding ban.
Explanation --
On the day that Jackie Simpson was acquitted of manslaughter for allowing her chav son's pit bull to maul her 5-year-old granddaughter, Ellie Lawrencon, to death, Ems and I too had the misfortune to encounter first-hand one of these vicious, unnecessary beasts.
Minding our own business at 06:30 on our usual early morning stroll (me) / ablutions (her), Ems was attacked by a young pit-bull-type in the park near our home.
The monster was off its lead (illegal), unmuzzled (illegal) and in the company of a teenage chav (female, nearly (and should be classed as illegal)) who had absolutely no control over her unpredictable weapon.
It just tore into to Ems harassing, growling and nipping at her. Ems is a bit dim and tends to cower in these situations, bowing to the greater aggression of the other dog, instead of more sensibly fleeing. [Actually, thinking about it, being rag-doll compliant is probalby the better method of survival in this circumstance]. While she did initially bark to tell the other to bugger off, quickly, her barks turned to helpless yelps of intimidation and then pain.
With her creature's jaws clamped around Ems' back and sides, the foul peasant was next to useless and just kept apologising (innit) instead of actually trying to exert some authority over her shit or grabbing hold of the bloody thing to drag it off.
Eventually, after what seemed like an age but was probably only a matter of minutes, I extricated the bastard's jaws from my pet's rear. Luckily, we were only slightly bruised (me and Ems), shaken (her, literally), but no blood was drawn (either of us) and all's well.
But do Stoke Newington's police, the Met, the British government or its judicial system acknowledge the Dangerous Dogs Act of 1991? Anyone at Stokie's Safer Neighbourood Team ever going to call me back for this 'non emergency'?
Hell no!
These monsters aren't pets or companions. They're weapons and like guns and knives must be banished from our streets or only posessed in the face of severe penalty (chav owner) and destruction (fucking disgusting animal).
Explanation --
On the day that Jackie Simpson was acquitted of manslaughter for allowing her chav son's pit bull to maul her 5-year-old granddaughter, Ellie Lawrencon, to death, Ems and I too had the misfortune to encounter first-hand one of these vicious, unnecessary beasts.
Minding our own business at 06:30 on our usual early morning stroll (me) / ablutions (her), Ems was attacked by a young pit-bull-type in the park near our home.
The monster was off its lead (illegal), unmuzzled (illegal) and in the company of a teenage chav (female, nearly (and should be classed as illegal)) who had absolutely no control over her unpredictable weapon.
It just tore into to Ems harassing, growling and nipping at her. Ems is a bit dim and tends to cower in these situations, bowing to the greater aggression of the other dog, instead of more sensibly fleeing. [Actually, thinking about it, being rag-doll compliant is probalby the better method of survival in this circumstance]. While she did initially bark to tell the other to bugger off, quickly, her barks turned to helpless yelps of intimidation and then pain.
With her creature's jaws clamped around Ems' back and sides, the foul peasant was next to useless and just kept apologising (innit) instead of actually trying to exert some authority over her shit or grabbing hold of the bloody thing to drag it off.
Eventually, after what seemed like an age but was probably only a matter of minutes, I extricated the bastard's jaws from my pet's rear. Luckily, we were only slightly bruised (me and Ems), shaken (her, literally), but no blood was drawn (either of us) and all's well.
But do Stoke Newington's police, the Met, the British government or its judicial system acknowledge the Dangerous Dogs Act of 1991? Anyone at Stokie's Safer Neighbourood Team ever going to call me back for this 'non emergency'?
Hell no!
These monsters aren't pets or companions. They're weapons and like guns and knives must be banished from our streets or only posessed in the face of severe penalty (chav owner) and destruction (fucking disgusting animal).