Strange Town

Ever feel that you're living in an episode of The Twilight Zone where things are just a tiny bit out of kilter?

Recent incidences of minor oddities.

• A cab driver without an A to Z and unable to program his sat-nav. Kind-of a chocolate tea pot
• A singer without a voice. Surely you'd know at the sound-check if not before?
• Spied at local café last Tuesday -- woman breast-feeding child in exact line of sight to café's blackboard menu making lunch selection awkward and killing appetite. Yuk
• Spied everywhere in N16 -- feral brats running wild in pubs. It doesn't happen round the corner in N1 where pubs are for adults, not day-care surrogates..
• Phantom-like fortnightly appearance of sacks of butchered bones on the Green. Christmas for the dog, but surely contrary to accepted FSA codes of practice in butchery -- i.e., illegal?!
• A council (Hackney) so whacked with Green Everything that it actively encourages its citizens to maintain woefully untidy streets with recycling bins and refuse bags strewn asunder
• Indeed, a whole national, regional and local political system so whacked with Green Everything, that education and crime are distant priorities behind worm farms, composting and bloody bicycling
• Chocolate tea pot -- no, really. For Easter eating, not brewing I'll wager -- unless you're a north London cabbie
• Urban foxes -- not sickly country cousins, but big, brash and bushy. Brazen
• The appearance of No Smoking signs inside the office. Smoking has always been banned at work and outside it since 1 July 2007. Why the extra reminder now?
• Cashly Cole -- there really is no point to the evil little gooner. 'Rested' on Saturday. Return him quickly to the Arse under warrantee
• Spied in the park on Sunday morning -- a woman, a leash and a ferret. Weird walkies..