Bird Flu From A Dog..?

Doggies are wonderful creatures. They give us companionship, they're faithful and *sometimes* obedient.

But we tend to forget one important thing about our beloved pets -- that they're animals, and not Disney characters.

It matters not how domesticated we make them, arrest their natural development keeping them in puppy-dom for the whole of their lives and address them as we would -- ikle, wickle -- babies.

No, your common-or-garden pooch is a beast. Regardless of breed, from poodle to pointer and retriever to rottweiler, the domestic dog is a killer -- and pretty adept at it too.

It's instinct. They're hunters at heart and only a short leap in genetic development from wolf or hyena.

Unfortunately, this very killer instinct might just have brought a plague upon all of us in the House of S.

I'll explain..

On Saturday Emmie and I went on our extra-long, extra-special weekend constitutional in Clissold Park. It was a lovely, sunny and warm morning. All was very well with the world and apart from a foggy head (a consequence of a rather riotous dinner party with Ade, Immie, Mark and Lady P.), we were, as the Welsh put it 'in God's pocket.'

On these walks Emmie likes to exercise her natural inclination to chase certain of the park's other inhabitants, notably its squirrels and pigeons. This is fine and rather amusing. She never catches them, and the squirrels drive her mad by taunting from upon high the silly excitable spaniel below.

But on this day, Emmie's instincts and reactions were sharp. Half-way through our journey, she literally caught a big old crow on the hop. The grounded, grubbing crow was too slow in its escape, and the quick-witted mutt had it in her vice-like grasp. She wouldn't let go and the foul bird was quickly a goner.

Alright. I must admit to a high degree of pleasure in MY DOG, the savage and valiant destroyer of vermin. I also found the scanalised response to this most natural of incidents by a local same-sex female couple very amusing.

But I am a wee bit concerned too.

The general feelings of achy, sore, drowsy, snottiness with which I'm currently afflicted might be residual evidence of Friday's indulgence or a benign strain of the common cold.

..But surely, it could also be the over-hyped and (maybe) over here Bird Flu. Am I Britain's first victim of this virulent pox and therefore soon-to-be cause celeb?

I hope not, but I do know that I'm off to Boots for Nurofen and Lemsip and might have to take to my bed for a few days..