The List: Pre-Wedded, Erm, Bliss..?

Weddings are a delight. The most important day of one's life.

They can be a minefield too.

A lot of planning goes into your average, and indeed, not-so-average wedding.

But don't get me wrong. A lot of wedding planning is easy. Once one recognises that there is a hitherto unknown 'cottage industry' that is The Wedding -- one of get-rich-quick suppliers who put mark-ups on *everything* (think invitations, favour boxes (eh?), food, drink, clothing, flowers, DJs, choirs etc.,) -- it's easy. Fix on a budget, and stick to it.

Then, as a couple you must decide on a location, find a church, suitable venue etc., and of course, stick to the budget. Everything, kinda, falls into place after that. The whole thing runs to a formula. Further, decide on the service (hymns, reading and so forth), menu, wine list, select a dress/morning suit/button-holes, best man/ushers, bride's maids, Stag and Hen excursions and so forth -- and always remember to stick to the budget.

The real difficulty is The List -- the list of invitees, that is.

For two people who come together after living some part of their respective lives as social animals and consequently amassing friends along the way, drawing the list and then editing it (and editing it, and editing it..) to fit to said budget is an unfathomably arduous and onerous task.

Another critical issue is precedent. That one or both have been invited to and/or attended other people's hitchings in the past is another fact of life and consequence of being on the planet long enough to pick-up an acquaintance or two along the way. A very important, and oft overlooked consideration here to recognise is that there is no statute of limitations to wedding invitations. A wedding invitation once issued and accepted is never erased in the minds of its givers -- even if said nuptials occurred two decades ago and the couple in question have long-since divorced or died. One is simply expected to repay the favour without question, and, of course, without regard to the ever diminishing budget. (Did I mention the importance of fiscal prudence?)

In this highly charged environment of manners, noses are quickly un-jointed.

I have little truck for this nonsense and prefer, in the main, to avoid confrontation. So in the interest of a peaceful life, I've decided to invite 750 of my closet friends and dear relatives to our most important day. Sod the budget.

Unfortunately, though, I am afraid that the Royal Mail's gargantuan ineptitude as it is, means that some 741 of those invitations, in all likelihood, will fail to reach their intended destinations.

Well that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it.